Today is my birthday! It seems appropriate on this day for myself to introduce . . . myself (I never pass up a chance to quote “Austin Powers”), to share who I am.
Well I was really excited for this weekend because – up until about a week ago – the plan was for me to co-lead a women’s retreat at beautiful Outlaw Ranch near Custer, SD. This was a big deal for me. I have always known God gave me special gifts to find the best in and encourage others. And though I have been aware of these gifts, I have never led a retreat before. So this weekend was supposed to be a powerful “first” as far as me living into my identity as a bold leader with specific intentions of inspiring and encouraging others.
But as we all know, the plans have changed. All the plans.
Sigh.
It was important for me to name the fact that I was really disappointed the retreat was canceled. I had the thought, “Well dang, that really sucks.” Then my first instinct was to say something like, “But, it could be worse.”
Which is true, things could always be worse (sometimes this is more obvious than others). However, that does not change the fact that I felt disappointed.
Over the past week it has become super clear how important it is that we allow ourselves to share how the changes happening in our world have changed our plans, and to feel and process the emotions that accompany those changes. It is okay to say, “That makes me sad!” or “That makes me angry!” or “I am feeling really frustrated that the time I thought I would be able to spend doing (insert activity here) is instead being filled by trying to homeschool!”
Things like that.
Then when we share those emotions, or hear someone else sharing them, it is okay to just leave it at that. Sometimes things are just hard.
I am going off on a bit of a tangent (maybe I could blog on that – my new favorite verb is “blog” – later), so I will refocus.
I want to be able to identify and clearly communicate who I am, and I guess this blog is as good of a place as any because a) it’s my blog, and I’ll blog what I want to, and b) I only have seven “likes” altogether, so obviously this proclamation of my identity is just as much for me as it is for anyone else.
So here goes. When someone asks me, “Who are you?” I hope to be able to boldly claim: “I am a beloved child of God. I am a loving, encouraging wife and a good mommy who loves my kids in ways I never knew I could love. I am a respectful daughter and daughter-in-law and a proud sister. I am a “fun aunt” with the most fabulous nieces, nephews, and godson. I am a true, faithful friend who is incredibly grateful for all of the people who consider me their friend. I am a caring, intelligent teacher, a knowledgeable and passionate coach, and a Young Life leader with a hunger to share Jesus with teenagers – and kids of all ages – in creative ways. I am a published author! I love to laugh, to act, to sing, to play music, and to dance. I am grateful. I am wonderfully and fearfully made, and uniquely me!”
I just reread that a couple times. Single tear. And since this is getting long I will leave you with a powerful question (life coaching at its finest): Now who are you?
